Conflict resolution is based on nonviolent, assertive communication, and solving it can be done step by step. We have discovered that there are some easy steps to follow in order to solve a conflict in a healthy way so just start with step number 1 and just keep on going.
People often get into contradictory discussions. This is not necessarily harmful. Discussion partners need to learn to resolve their disagreements.
The biggest frustration and therefore trigger for a conflict to explode is the need to control the other. We have to understand that we cannot have such power. Instead of focusing on control try to identify what you actually can do. This can be: identifying what you actually need, why this conversation botters you so much, which is your relationship type, and how you contribute to the actual conflict.
A conflict resolved in a healthy way brings many benefits to the relationship.
How to resolve conflicts in a healthy way?
Russell Grieger is a clinical psychologist with over 34 years of experience in treating individuals, couples, and families. He outlined step by step what to do for an easy and effective conflict resolution:
- Eliminate negative feelings that disturb the discussion
- Focus on the “earnings – earnings” ratio
- Practice active listening
- Practice for progress
Conflict resolution step #1 – Eliminate negative feelings
The heated discussions bring negative emotions. Both partners may be angry or frustrated. To the extent that you want a healthy relationship, you need to spend time checking your emotions.
To move on with the discussion, you need to reduce the intensity of negative emotions. Otherwise, neither you nor your partner will have the patience and openness to listen to you. Try to focus more on expressing how the issue affects you than trying to actually change your partner’s way of thinking.
Conflict resolution step #2 – Focus on a way that you both have a win
Every person should want the well-being of their relationship. In other words, it is necessary for the people involved to see the conflict as a growth enhancer. Each must look for solutions for the well-being of both.
Step #3 – Practice active listening
For both people to “win” the conflict, each must actively listen to the other. Everyone knows how to win an individual conflict, but now you have to make an extra effort. The “gain – gain” ratio involves deep listening on both sides. Therefore, remove judgment and censorship in order to benefit from the conflict.
Step #4 – Focus on progress
The last step in resolving the conflict requires communication toward progress. With the new mindset set, the conflict can be settled amicably. In other words, partners can identify a solution that will benefit their relationship.
Discussion partners can share needs, goals, or concerns. The discussion stops only when a solution is found that satisfies both of them.
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